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Keeping promises is one of the most
important ingredients of happy lasting relationships. It is the glue
that holds people together in love.
Take, for example, the marriage
vows. When two persons keep their wedding promises to honor, love,
comfort and keep one another in all situations, their relationship
grows.
Equally important, they must keep
their promise to "forsake all others as long as they both shall live." A
marriage cannot possibly blossom if one or both of the partners
maintains sexual relationships with someone else. Even if the cheating
is in secret, the fact that one of the spouses knows will prevent
him/her from committing completely to the marriage.
But the promise to forsake all
others must include more than sexual relationships if the marriage is to
prosper. Emotional unfaithfulness will also destroy marital love.
Emotional adultery occurs when
someone finds a friend of the opposite sex who seems more understanding,
more sympathetic, and more admirable than his/her spouse. Soon the two
are sharing intimate personal feelings that they cannot or will not
share with their spouse.
Often the two find ways to be
together at work, to talk on the phone, or to go to lunch alone. While
there may never be any type of physical touching, their emotional lives
have become so intertwined that they have broken their promises to keep
themselves only for their own spouse.
In today’s world, emotional adultery
often takes place by computer. Cybersex or intimate chat rooms may seem
innocent if they do not include actual physical contact, but in reality
such emotional adultery is very destructive to long term marital
commitment.
A successful marriage is based upon
keeping promises. "For better or for worse" means sticking with the
relationship even in the tough times. It is sad that some persons give
up on their marriages too soon. Instead of looking elsewhere if the
passion fades, those who keep their promises look for ways to fan the
embers back into flames.
Love is not a feeling; love is a
commitment. Those who base their relationships on how they feel often
drift from relationship to relationship. Those who keep their promises
and stick with their mate usually find deep and satisfying love.
A marketing expert once observed
that the number one reason clients leave and go elsewhere is broken
promises. A survey of broken marriages would undoubtedly give the same
observation. Married couples simply cannot disregard their marriage vows
and expect to have a loving, happy family.
Paul Jetter, Upper Valley Community Church |
